Pesky annoying telemarketers copped my wrath.


Active Member
One that has been doing the rounds a lot lately is a call from Microsoft stating that you have a problem with your windows program, it IS a scam to access your bank details.
I was well aware of the scam long before they rang 4 times in a week, my wife took the calls and told them to..........well............ piss off.
The call went something like this...................
Hi I am from Microsoft software department and you are having troubles with your windows program and I am here to fix it.
I say oh really I was not aware of any problems, and the Indian chap says you need to be in front of your computer to fix the problem.
I stay calm and composed and tell him I am starting up my computer so he can fix my "problem"
I say, you will have to wait a while as I have a old computer that runs on petrol and it is a little slower then the newer models, surprisingly he say ok and stays on the line, he is now on the line for 2 or 3 minutes.
He says is your computer ready, and I say yes, he then says again you have a problem with your windows program.
Here's the kicker.........I say I don't have windows on my petrol driven computer, I only have doors, no windows.
He hung up and I have never had a phone call since, the secret is to scamming these %$#%^ is to keep calm and polite, keep them on the line as long as possible. The longer you keep them on the line the less honest people they can annoy.

Thanks for watching, stay tuned and I will tell the story about a telemarketer I told I was a little busy as one of my cows was calving and I needed the tractor to pull the calf out, I had him strung along for a good 15 mins or so................................lmao
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Well-Known Member
I did something similar where he told me to open windows so i did, literally. He asked me what I saw and I said clouds and a couple of trees and the next door neighbours house. Their english usually isn't good enough that they can go too far off script so he hung up on me pretty quickly and I wasn't bothered again.


Well-Known Member
It's actually fun playing the game

Just ask a question then after there response just keep asking why Why why why why

Other times the I don't speak English approach works well

Also the just hold on a minuet
And another and another

Have not had a call for a few months now
Kind of miss the fun


Active Member
I had one that I strung along for about 10 minutes,, when he realised he got really upset and got quite rude calling my mum some pretty bad stuff etc but they stopped calling for a while.


Well-Known Member
I have had a lot of fun with them at work over the years
I made up a fictitious person named Terry so when they ring up I tell them that they need to speak to Terry but Terry is always either in a meeting, in the toilet, on another phone call, off sick or on holidays and I used to see how long I could string them along keeping them on hold or I would tell them about the holiday Terry is on or go into details of the sickness he has...... whatever I could do to piss them off and stop them ringing other people
Even had a spare office desk with his name on it for the door to door marketers
Terry even used to get Christmas cards lol


Well-Known Member
I used to have the fake "microsoft" calls. last time I got a call I asked did I need to turn on my computer...yes...then I complained that there was something wrong..the cup holder kept popping out when I pressed the button! she got sick of me after 5 minutes and hung up.


Well-Known Member
They ring work all the time and ask to speak to the business owner. I say yep, no problem and then leave them on hold for however long it takes for them to hang up. Must be pissing them off, because now I get multiple hang up calls per day on my work phone.


Active Member
A friend of mine, who was a police prosecutor, told me that a part of their course was to 'cross examine' telemarketers when they rang and get as much information out of them as they could. He said that he got hung up on after they realised how much info they had given him ;)


Well-Known Member
I solved the problem by now having NO land line. (Loud whistles didn't work)

They ring mobiles as well, so having no landline won't stop them calling. Having no phone at all is the only answer, and unfortunately that's not really practical these days.


Well-Known Member
We know it's safe because he's got tinfoil wrapped around the roof.

Did someone say Tinfoil?



Well-Known Member
I had one years ago that was selling roofing tiles, clean and painting, new styles of tiles etc.
I had a few under my belt by this stage and kept him going for ages, telling him about the large house the property has and discussing many types of tiles and paint combos with him, always telling him it's exactly what I needed and how good it's going to look, then I said it's such a pity our house has a flat tin roof, he told me to f*** off and hung up.

muc the truck

Well-Known Member
They don't like Bacon salad sandwiches . I was eating one when they called . I kept telling them how nice it was, talking with my mouth full. asked him if he had a bacon salad sandwich and he said NO. O NO . I asked why and he told me his reason and every time he asked me to go to my pc and do something I would sell the bacon sandwich to him saying how good it was and how he should try it .

Bush Ranger

Active Member
I don`t mind stringing them along a bit and some times I`d put the phone down on the bench top with speaker phone on so it echos to annoy them. A few keep talking for quite a few minutes. I had one ring up and I was busting to go to the loo, so I was answering him here and there. He asked what was wrong with my phone, as it sounded like I was in a tunnel or some thing. I told him I was on the toilet and he hung up.
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