Jokes

dirvine

Well-Known Member
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Albynsw

Well-Known Member
Alby, you`d need much bigger hands to pick up after mine.
That`s why I have to clean up after him, everyone around here knows I have the biggest dog around.

P.S. I always cleanup after the dog anyway, pisses me off when people are to lazy to do it.

I have cattle and is never good when they get in the house paddock :oops:
 

typhoeus

Well-Known Member
Golfing Genie
Bob and John are having a round of golf. John being keen for a smoke asks Bob for a lighter.
Bob pulls out a large BIC cigarette lighter about 12 inches long. “Wow”, says John. “Where did you get such big lighter?”
“I got it from my Genie” says Bob. Bob then reaches into his golf bag and pulls out a small blue Genie.
John is pretty impressed. He decides to test if he can get any wishes granted. John says to the Genie “Hey Genie, as I’m such a good friend of your master Bob, will you grant me a wish”.
“Sure will” says the Genie. John thinks about it for a moment then says “I wish for 5 million bucks”. Nothing happens for the first half a minute then all of a sudden the sky becomes filled with millions of ducks.
“I said bucks not ducks” said John. “Sorry. I should have told you” Bob says. “My genie is hard of hearing. You didn’t think I asked for a 12 inch BIC did you?”
 

typhoeus

Well-Known Member
And on a similar theme,
A lady is setting off to have a round of golf after a series of lessons with the club pro. 15 minutes after leaving the clubhouse, she returns looking a little flustered and upset. “What’s wrong” says the golf pro realising she’d only been gone a short time. “I’ve been stung by a bee” she said.
“Where did it sting you” asked the pro. The lady replied “Between the first and second hole”
“Ah”, said the golf pro as he nods. “Your stance is far too wide.”
 
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