Jokes

Swaggie

Moderator
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Corndoggy

Well-Known Member
Cruise ship had to dock in a port after a couple of days. 100 or so passengers have covid. Sure it's safe as houses. What a joke. Ha ha ha ha ha.
 

boobook

Well-Known Member
This guy and his wife are hilarious. He takes the piss out of LR, Toyota and himself. 32 mins of laughs. Gezus even the wife knows the 10 steps to diagnose her disco before driving to the supermarket every day. 2 fault dings on the dash is abnormal, and 1 fault ding is every day normal. She even scores well on the repair history quiz section. You have to check the fault codes regularly so that when it breaks down you know the list of normal faults ( like CPU bus error) from the new ones that might be causing it to break down this time. You can save a fortune in towing costs if you check fault codes regularly and get to know the worst ones that might cause the breakdown on the side of the road this time. :D :D

He has become a psychologist for LR owners all over the world.

He should join earth LOL.


 

Ron0z

Active Member
That's quite a LR sales ad. I mean non sales ad. Or was it an ad for test equipment and LR just happened to be the test case. I dunno, but I learnt a lot about LR. It's good to see some optimistic people though. They love their car.
 

dirvine

Well-Known Member
A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.
SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.
THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."
HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.
"I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."
 

dirvine

Well-Known Member
A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Daddy, how was I born?”
The father answers,
“Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your mum and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mum and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: 'You've got male!'”
 

dirvine

Well-Known Member
The Geography of a Woman as she ages:
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa .
Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe.
Well developed and open to trade, especially
for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain.
Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece.
Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain.
With a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel.
Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice,
and takes care of business .
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada.
Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet.
Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 100, a man is like North Korea and Russia.
Ruled by a pair of nuts!
 
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