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Discussion in 'Off Topic Discussion' started by x [Heels] x, Jun 8, 2008.

  1. Mr Rum

    Mr Rum Well-Known Member

  2. Bomber2012

    Bomber2012 Well-Known Member

    Man goes to the doctor and says
    "Everytime I masturbate I scream Go Queensland"
    The doctor replies
    "Most wankers do":D:)
    2002GU3, dno67, MyCrazy80 and 3 others like this.
  3. 80lover96gxl

    80lover96gxl Moderator

  4. 80lover96gxl

    80lover96gxl Moderator

  5. Spooner

    Spooner Well-Known Member

    Ive heard Ford & Mazda are adopting Jeep's all new std for 2018 models FSS technology (Fire Suppression System)
    80lover96gxl likes this.
  6. Spooner

    Spooner Well-Known Member


    Its ok I've scrubbed the rude bit out so I don't offend anybody or get banned :D
  7. 80lover96gxl

    80lover96gxl Moderator

    Love ya work mate.;);)
  8. Bomber2012

    Bomber2012 Well-Known Member

  9. Bomber2012

    Bomber2012 Well-Known Member

  10. dno67

    dno67 Well-Known Member

  11. Bomber2012

    Bomber2012 Well-Known Member

  12. Bomber2012

    Bomber2012 Well-Known Member

    Been looking for one of these .
    Happy hour in the shower .
    axle82 and 80lover96gxl like this.
  13. Traveller

    Traveller 4x4 Earth Contributer

    A can should sit on top of the door-usually a nice flat rail above it-just beware soapy hands..
    deepop and Bomber2012 like this.
  14. deepop

    deepop 4x4 Earth Contributer

    Surprisingly enough Jok, that sounds like the voice of experience.
  15. Traveller

    Traveller 4x4 Earth Contributer

    Think I probably heard it somewhere mate, you know me..
  16. dno67

    dno67 Well-Known Member

  17. rogerazz

    rogerazz 4x4 Earth Contributer



    GODtoST. FRANCIS:Frank, You know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.
    St. FRANCIS:It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
    GOD:Grass? But, it's so boring It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

    ST. FRANCIS:Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
    GOD:The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

    ST. FRANCIS:Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.

    GOD:They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

    ST. FRANCIS:Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

    GOD:They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

    ST. FRANCIS:No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.


    Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
    ST. FRANCIS:Yes, Sir.
    GOD:These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
    ST. FRANCIS:You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
    GOD:What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.
    ST. FRANCIS:You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

    GOD:No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?
    ST. FRANCIS:After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
    GOD:And where do they get this mulch?

    ST. FRANCIS:They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
    GOD:Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

    ST. CATHERINE:'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about....
    GOD:Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
  18. 80lover96gxl

    80lover96gxl Moderator

  19. Spooner

    Spooner Well-Known Member

    dno67 and barcher like this.
  20. Outrage

    Outrage 4x4 Earth Contributer

    Always wondered on the thought of changing your name to 'Sale', just think how much stuff would be for you!
    stuartiross likes this.

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