For cleanliness sake , I'll tone this one down, but it is better with the old adjective in it
It was a little country pub , through the week it was a quiet little watering hoLe for the locals to unwind after a hard day on the land.
The ambience of this was on the weekend changed somewhat when the Toorak Farmers would decend upon the place and break the calm ambience by airing their so called knowledge of all things relating to the land.
This night was a particularly foul night, the rain was howling down outside and the wind chill factor was freezing. There were a few locals who decided to put up with the city farmers of the weekend trade and come and socialise at the bar with neighbors and friends and as usuall it brought in the Collins street farmers in as well .
The weather was so foul it brought in an old stockman with his old cattle dog , he took of his well worn Drizabone and his well seasoned hat, shook the rain off them and hung them on a peg near the door,.
Although there was a roaring log fire blazing at one end of the bar, it was where the city folks had gathered . Being not one for crowds and fools, he went to the other end where there was no one , his old cattle dog close on his heels as was expected, no commands given, they had worked as a team for so long and knew what was expected of each, the old stockman sat down on a stool and the dog settled down at his feet, he held up one finger to the barman for one beer, it was poured and the old stockman sipped it in silence .
This caused a change of topic for the braggarts of the pretenders from the city to that of dogs and each in turn extolled the pedigree of their particular animal, boasting how good they were with cattle and so forth.
Unfortunately the old stockman could not get any further away from them so he just sat there and tried to shut the crap out.
It was when one city slicker said " My dog is a pure bred kelpie, his name is Bruce'. The old stockman thought ' good breed of dog, but a S@#T name "
The so called farmer continued " I have had him so well trained that he will only act on my command and no-one elses, I'll put money on it "
The others in his group said" Ah that's crap "
The braggart owner replied" well I'll show you" left the bar and went out to get the dog from his top of the range 4X4 and brought it inside.
'I'LL PUT UP $50 FOR ANYONE WHO CAN GET HIM TO OBEY , But If you can't you owe me the wager!" So one by one they all tried, each failling in turn , the pot got larger as the grog combined with the exaltation of success took affect and pretty soon the pot was up to $2000,
The noise of all this was getting too much for the old stockman and the sound of the braggarts voice in particular was grating on his ears, it was all too much , so he stood up dropped his hand in a silent command for his old cattle dog to stay.
He went down to the townies end of the bar and addressed the the now over confident braggart . " Okay Sunshine, correct me if I am wrong, the wager is $2000 , you've got it correct ? To which the townie , particullarly as he didn't want to be shown up in front of his socalled mates confirmed that the wager was good.
"Okay clear some space if you will " They all gave him room, as quick as a flash he grabbed the pedigree Kelpie cattle dog by the scruff of the neck and by the tail and hurled it into the blasing fire place and yelled "Bruce, get the F@#K out of there !"
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