Discussion in 'Off Topic Discussion' started by x [Heels] x, Jun 8, 2008.
A homeless guy is traveling down a country lane, tired and hungry he comes across
a Pub called the "George and the Dragon."
Although it's late and the Pub is closed he knocks on the door.
The innkeeper's wife sticks her head out of a window.
"Could I have some food?" he asks.
The woman glances at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition and sternly says, "No!"
"Any chance of a pint of ale then?"
"No!" she says again.
"Could I at least sleep in your barn?"
"No!" By this time, she was shouting.
The down-and-out says, "OK Then Might I please...?"
"What now?" the woman shouts impatiently.
"Might I please have a word with George?
A bloke and his wife walked into the dentist's office.
The bloke said to the dentist “I'm in one hell of a big hurry mate! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for me to go deer hunting, so forget about the anesthetic and just pull the darn tooth and be done with it… I don't have time to waste for any bloody anesthetic to work!.”
The dentist thought to himself, my god this bloke is sure one very brave and tough man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.
The dentist said "OK then mate that's fine with me" and asked him “ So which tooth is it, sir?”
The bloke turned to his wife and said ”Open your darn mouth honey and show him which bloody tooth it is."
Little Johnny was on a camping trip for school,
He came into the teacher tent during the night and said Miss i can't sleep can i sleep in your bed,
She said "okay", if it makes you sleep.
So when he hops into her bed he asks her can i put my finger in your belly button it helps me sleep.
The teacher said that's weird but okay,
so after a few minutes the teacher said " that's not my belly button and little johnny replied that's not my finger.
A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital. He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses.
"Am I in heaven?" asks the disoriented priest. "No" says one of the nurses. "We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward".
And keeping the theme going....
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